Hi, I'm Pam — Mother. Wife. Daughter. Sister. Friend. And founder of The Brave Love Project.
If you asked me what I “do” I’d say I’m a Master Life Coach, Teacher and Relationship Mentor. And even though I am all those things, that answer seems incomplete.
There are lots of things I do. My interests and pursuits are varied and ever-changing. Some I get paid for and some I don’t.
But my life’s work? The thing that I have steadfastly devoted my time and energy to?
Raising my kids.
Having a strong marriage.
Cultivating friendships and cherishing my family.
My life’s work is building relationships that are the foundation for everything else.
I believe your life is your art, the full expression of your truth and beauty. Finding that truth and a way to express that beauty — even amidst the chaos, even when things are falling apart — that is what I dig most.
I’ve been a seeker my whole life. Longing for meaning and purpose. Wanting to be truly seen and heard. And believing all those things were out there somewhere, just beyond my reach.
So I trained. A lot. — because part of being a seeker of personal and universal truth is learning. I pursued a variety of endeavors. Because another part of seeking is experimenting.
It wasn’t until I connected the way I relate to others with the emotional and spiritual aspects of being that I finally found my path to truth. It took me four decades to realize that everything I wanted to know would be found through my relationships not outside of them. And that my venue for healing, empowerment and transformation had been with me all along.
It wasn't until I was ready to take the risks required to release self-consciousness, resentment and toxic shame... as well as the status quo of the way things were... that I was able to start finding ways to express it.
I switched gears from codependent people-pleasing to really tuning in. Not just to my intuition, but to the superb wisdom found in every interaction I had. I learned to honor my ever-present emotions. I stopped trying to be different than I am and started bravely embracing myself as-is.
And tuning in has led me to:
Really showing up in my marriage, with a commitment to honesty and to championing my husband’s growth and evolution as much as my own. Over the past 28 years, we have welcomed light and dark, beauty and heartbreak. We’re learning to voice our changing needs and expectations, to choose real intimacy over false connection.
Honoring my wants and needs in all my relationships, and bravely asking. Choosing REAL over NICE. Transforming who I am as a friend, mother, daughter, sister, wife as I show up more and more real- without pretense or pretending.
Coming out of hiding. Embracing all parts of me. Those that are beautiful and hip and those that aren't. The choices I've made that I celebrate and those that I've tried to forget. Accepting what is in me instead of trying to be something different.
It has led me to the bravest kind of love.
And this is messy stuff. It's not all smooth sailing and roses and fairytale endings. It's often choppy and rutted. Grungy and disheveled. But it's more real than ever. It's darker in places and much, much lighter in others. And you know what?
I realize I have always been on a path to Brave Love. I now know that this path requires awareness, courage and a bit of boat-rocking rebellion. Because to live in truth we must be willing to risk all our relationships. Including the one with ourselves.
There was a time when I hid behind a ready smile and a contrived image. When I believed that self-acceptance was obtained by figuring out externally who I wanted to be. When I was afraid of my contradicting interests. When I believed pretending everything was fine was safe and kind and that my deep well of emotions was something to manage and tame. When I squelched my exploration into various topics because I believed it to be indecisive and fickle. When I might have thought, "I don't like the way you just treated me." But you would have heard me say, "What can I make you for dinner?" When I believed I was destined to stay small and that big goals were for other people. A time when I hid so much of what makes me... me. And this behavior is not only socially acceptable, it's socially rewarded. But it was slowly killing me.
I was seeking truth. I was longing to be seen and heard and understood. I wanted a relationship with something greater. (I just didn't know what any of that was yet and had NO CLUE how to get there.)
Seeing my relationships as medium for my personal growth and transformation (as opposed to a hinderance to it) brought all of my seemingly unrelated pursuits, interests and struggles together for me. It brought my seeking inward. It brought me HOME.
This alchemy gave me context for my life’s work.
And I am finally experiencing Brave Love. Union with… MYSELF.
I believe it can do this for you, too.
Now I merge facets of my ever-evolving self with coaching and relational mentorship to bring you The Brave Love Project. Loving fiercely and being loved unconditionally is an inside-out process.
Private Coaching- blending coaching with psychology, philosophy and spirituality to give you access to a full-on navigation system to find your own truest path.
Brave Ones Community- women joining forces to step into the truest versions of themselves and rule their realms.
I’m devoted to the practice of knowing myself, accepting myself as-is and bravely sharing my truth. And in doing so, knowing you, accepting you as-is and supporting you in sharing your truth.
May we all heal and be a source of healing. And bravely lean in to the beauty found in the light and the dark of ourselves and our relationships.
Not sure where to start?