Love fiercely and be loved unconditionally-3.png


What is The Brave Love Project?


Imagine the most open, truest kind of love and connection.

The kind you long for.

Where… You are fully present and all in. You are who you are… as is. You know what you want and ask for it. You are free of resentment and guilt.

You embody respect, rule your realm and are passionately generous.

What if somebody would just see you, hear you, appreciate you and love you for who you are?

let me guess ...

You wish you could be one of those women who doesn’t take any shit, but when you try it just doesn’t come out right.

You are a well of intense feelings.

Conflict eats away at you.

You feel responsible for maintaining your relationships. (And wonder if they would survive if you stopped.)

You wish it didn’t matter so much to you what other people think.

You are exhausted from walking on eggshells around the important people in your life.

You are tired of being taken for granted.  (And wish someone would see how amazing and rare you are.)

You feel resentful and misunderstood.

You long for someone to take care of you like you take care of them.

You might have sold your soul in one (or more) of your relationships.

And, worst of all, you have no idea why things are this way. You’ve tried everything to be loved in the way you love others. You’ve read more self-help books than you care to own up to. You’ve given so much and worked so hard.

So why do you feel so lonely? Even when other people are around?

You could live like this. Indefinitely. You've seen it in other women in your life, who have resigned themselves to mediocracy in their relationships. And it terrifies you that you might become like them. You know there is so much more possible than pretending and going through the motions. 

You have a choice. You don't have to live like that. You can bravely begin to move into something deeper.

Not currently in a relationship?

If you interact with people, you are in a relationship. If you have pets in your life, you are in a relationship. The foundations of Brave Love are imperative for true connection in every relationship we have currently and for ever relationship we will have in the future.  And the basis of this work is the relationship you have with YOU. 

If you have a desire to...

Eliminate the neediness you experience around loving and being loved

Respond authentically rather than react impulsively

Have more attention and affection

Stand up for yourself

Confidently navigate difficult decisions and overwhelming emotions

Empower yourself so you aren’t a victim to circumstances and other people’s actions and emotions

Have the kind of self-assuredness that comes from being comfortable in your own skin and owning who you are

Allow yourself to sometimes be a little louder, take up a little more space and even occasionally a bit high maintenance

Connect to something bigger

Know WHY you have what you have, do what you do, feel what you feel and are so STUCK

You are a Brave One. 


Loving and being loved isn’t something for wimps. It’s for RADICAL TRUTH TELLERS. It’s for those who are willing to ROUSE THEIR INNER REBEL and show up FOR REAL.


Because in love, everything we want to forget about ourselves is revealed.

All the behaviors (our own and the other person's) that annoy us to no end are present.

There is no hiding.

Over and over again in our lives, everything we have fantasized about what love should be is proven wrong.

My belief is this: Love… the kind where we share ourselves for real… is  BRAVE LOVE.

It’s probably not something you learned from your parents. It’s not something you’ve been taught how to do. And you aren’t going to get it handed to you by the people in your life.

You, Brave One, are going to have to do it yourself.

But you are not alone.

The Brave Love Project was founded to empower you with awareness, equip you with tools and guide you into knowing your real self so you can love fiercely and be loved unconditionally.

I believe in love. But love alone is not enough. We need to lay the foundation for intimacy. The real, show-up-as-you, tell-the-truth, ask-for-what-you-need, share-the-core-of-who-you-are kind of intimacy. 

And this is what I propose: We navigate this process together. 

Together we will find your voice. Uncover your desires. Advocate for your needs. You will have a witness, a guide, a challenger, a supporter... by your side every step of the way.  

Getting real.  Going deep. Having the conversations that get to the root of things. Growing stronger and braver and wiser. Ruling your realm. 


The Brave Love Project is unique. 

Untitled design-15.png

It works from the inside out.

love and intimacy begin as an inside job

Often, in relationships, we leave ourselves. We go and reside elsewhere. Sometimes in the mind of the other person. Sometimes in their emotional drama. Sometimes in their situations, experiences and decisions. We connect to their thoughts and feelings, witness their reactions, focus our awareness on their body language. We tune into them completely. We want them to be ok so we can be ok. This puts our capacity to experience love in the hands of others. We need to take it back by coming home... to ourselves. Brave Love shows you how to not let someone else's mood ruin your day. 


Untitled design (1).png

It goes all the way to the root of the symptoms.

the catalyst for real change is healing

Our unresolved issues are behind every single act of judgment, blame and hatred. (Towards others and towards ourselves.) Every time we react, lash out, withdraw… we are coming up against old wounds in some way. We always have the opportunity to either go further into habit or pull ourselves out of the rut into a new way of responding. But first we have to know what we are doing. Brave Love gets to the WHAT is, the WHY it is and the HOW to change it.


Untitled design-17.jpg

It investigates the way we interact and relate.

No relationship is an accident

Every relationship we are currently in and every relationship we have had in the past (whether it be romantic, family, friend, professional...) has something to teach us. Each one illuminates parts of us that need love and tending. And each one offers an opportunity to grow, strengthen and heal.  What we do when we interact... the subtle and the not so subtle thoughts, feelings and habits... is a gateway to what we hold and believe. Brave Love guides you into this inquiry so you can fully live out the purpose of the relationships you are in. 

The 8 Foundations of The Brave Love Project.


We all revolve our energy, attention, awareness around an “axis”. Learn to find your own center axis within you. Learn when you leave and place your axis on others and why. Practice coming back to your own center again and again. This is where empowerment begins. 


Take a look at your history and what you learned love is. Look objectively at how you were held. Become aware of how you hold yourself and others in your interactions. Let go of false notions, expectations, idealized childhoods. Grieve the holding you didn’t have. So you can make space for love, kindness and compassion. 


Begin to hold yourself with kindness and in healthy self worth. Distinguish inherent worth from behaviors and choices. Notice when you go one-down into shame or one-up into grandiosity and why.  Learn to bring yourself back to equal worth and come into full acceptance of your whole self. 


Make peace with your past. Learn and practice self-forgiveness. Explore your shadow and the energy expended to hide parts of yourself. Notice when you are triggered into self-doubt, second guessing and shame as you interact with others. Invite radical compassion.


Make friends with healthy anger. Learn about boundaries . Memorize what anger feels like in your body and use it to determine your values, wants and truth. Recognize when you turn anger inward into shame, avoid protecting yourself and fail to contain… and why. Honor your own truth, practice protecting it and stand up for yourself with quiet strength. 


Learn the difference between taking care and care-taking. Open the channel of giving and receiving and keep it balanced. Notice when you slip into enabling behaviors and learn to stay true to your intention. Investigate when you give too much or too little in your interactions and come back into balance.


Begin stepping into sovereignty. Learn to figure out what you want and need and ask for it. Turn your complaints into requests and teach the people in your life how to love you. 


Find your voice. Bravely express your truest self without hiding, pretending or game-playing. 



This is for you if...

You are tired of your needs, wants and significance taking a back seat to everything else. 

You can't keep playing out these old patterns. 

You are ready to feel like a grown-up. 

You are done playing small, hiding and smoothing things over for the sake of everyone else. 

You crave the courage and power to be who you are and love what you love. No apologies.

You, Brave One, have a quiet, inner strength. You are amazing and rare and beautiful. You are important and worthy of love. And your full presence is needed here. 

Change happens one interaction, once choice, one request, one revelation, one tiny shift at a time. 

Before I started the Brave Love program, I felt aware and accepting of my co-dependency tendencies, but without direction.  Like having a medical diagnosis, but no treatment plan. Now I know exactly why, who and what topics trigger me. I am able to assess when my center of axis is outside myself and bring it back in.  I can lovingly ask myself what I am feeling, what I need right now and give myself permission to do it.  I can set healthy boundaries without guilt.  I feel strong in my sense of inherent worthiness.  I don't do things for others without asking myself why anymore. The program was salve for my soul and what I needed to finally let myself be me and nurture myself and stop over-functioning for my family and putting their needs at the expense of mine.  It has helped me manage being empathic without going into overwhelm. This course has been a game changer for me. It was like corrective lenses for my soul.  I had no idea how crystal clear leaves on a tree looked until I got glasses at 22.  This was the same experience.  I am so grateful for this work. It matters. A lot.  -Connie Haley


How The Brave Love Project came to be...

I’m a recovering codependent, overly- nice people pleaser. I have bent over backwards, shape shifted into unrecognizable variations of myself, tolerated waaaayyyy too much and resented all of it. I know how to make peace, avoid conflict, manage a narcissist and tiptoe around anger. I have conformed to stay in good graces, squelched my opinion to dodge scorn and smiled to conceal my anger. I lived like that for decades and I'm very, very good at it. 

But I reached a point when I just couldn't do it anymore. It was beyond exhausting. My resentment felt like poison inside of me. There was so much pretending going on that I didn't know where the real me was. One day I couldn't suck it up anymore.  Nothing else would fit. Something shifted. 

And I deliberately rebelled.

I started to do scary stuff. The scariest stuff. Like get to know myself and my truth and sometimes even speak it. (Even though I might face rejection.)  Like telling people when I didn’t like how things went down. (Risking backlash.) Like asking for what I wanted. (Knowing I might not get it.)

With enough practice, I got even more ninja and didn’t try to fix it when someone was upset with me. I even let it be when I had the experience of being really, really disliked. Radical, right?

And I eventually took the risk and put my 25 year marriage on the line.

More and more I moved out of my comfort zone and into my real life.

I went from hiding and living in fear to living in Brave Love.

I am creating and curating a life that I totally dig and relationships that honor all the humanness of who I am, who they are and our journeys.  On the outside it doesn’t look as perfect as I used to try and make it seem. It may appear messier, louder and more complicated. But it is more vibrant in every way. I am alive in it. Not as a pretend me or a quasi-self that is always trying to be different. But as me. And my relationships have strengthened, refreshed and become (mostly) drama-free. Most of all they feel real.

If you would have told me this a decade ago, it would have been overwhelming and mind-blowing. “You’re saying,” I would have said to my older self. “that the more blunt, honest and candid I am, the more willing I am to risk everything and say it like I see it… the more connection and intimacy I would have?” I don’t think I could have imagined that more candor would have meant more closeness; that’s why I was so scared to tell the truth. I didn’t want to rock the boat and alienate people, but it turns out that drama and shallowness and lack of deep connection are not created by boldness, but by hiding. 

The more I am me.. as-is… the more I bravely love all my people as them… as-is.

To create The Brave Love Project, I have retraced my steps. It has been a winding path with more steps back than forward many times. There has been trial and error. And deep, deep inquiry, introspection and discomfort.  I have pulled from the experts I have trained with and teachers who have guided me along the way.  I have considered everything that brought me from habitual codependency and pretend intimacy to awareness, empowerment and real connection. That means there are pieces of psychology, self-help, yoga and spirituality all infused with my personal experiences. 

I founded The Brave Love Project because my life experiences have shown me how to do this and it would be hoarding this transformational work to not share it with you. 

I truly believe in this program, in this sacred and worthwhile work. I believe it will help you steer through your own relationships, including  (most especially) the one with yourself, so that you can live in Brave Love.

You, Brave One, deserve to love and be loved fully and fiercely. 

The biggest take-away from the Brave Love course, for me, was being centered in my self. The content is awesome. The themes, the questions, the daily practice mp3-files, the additional tools - all are extremely thoughtfully created, beautiful, and helpful. I am so happy to have these tools, and I know that I will go back to them again and again.The email exchange was extremely insightful, helpful, kind and loving, and gave me new ideas. I always felt very well understood, in my individual situation. Pam is so good at catching the essence of what is really going on at any given moment. I experienced this with all the coaching. She is experienced, creative and very flexible. She is kind and loving, and very respectful. She is excellent at helping people to self-empower. This program she created is beautiful and life changing. I will continue to come back to it and to Pam when I feel stuck. -Bettina H. 



What if I want to end a relationship? What if I don't? 

This program will give you clarity. It is for Brave Ones who want to leave and Brave Ones who want to stay. It is for those who want to get to the truth of what is and move forward with grounded, centered sovereignty and strength. 

How much time does it take?

As much as you want to invest. And here's the thing about time. How much time do you spend worrying about what other people think? In spinning thoughts and seething resentment? How much time and energy do you spend tiptoeing around issues and people? How much time goes into anticipating the needs of people in your life?  I have invested so much time and energy in these things! This program can free up so much of your time and help you be the steward of your energy. 

More questions? Wondering if this is right for you?

Let's talk! Email me directly (