An 8-week virtual self-study course for deep, insightful women who want to love fiercely and be loved unconditionally.
Imagine the most open, truest kind of love and connection.
The kind you long for.
Where… You are fully present and all in. You are who you are… as is. You know what you want and ask for it. You are free of resentment and guilt.
You embody respect, rule your realm and are passionately generous.
What if somebody would just see you, hear you, appreciate you and love you for who you are?
There’s a good chance that ...
You wish you could be one of those women who doesn’t take any shit, but when you try it just doesn’t come out right.
You are a well of intense feelings.
Conflict eats away at you.
You feel responsible for maintaining your relationships.
You wish it didn’t matter so much to you what other people think.
You are exhausted from walking on eggshells around the important people in your life.
You are tired of being taken for granted and wish someone would see how amazing and rare you are.
You feel resentful and misunderstood.
You long for someone to take care of you like you take care of them.
You might have sold your soul in one (or more) of your relationships.
And, worst of all, you have no idea why things are this way. You’ve tried everything to be loved in the way you love others. You’ve read more self-help books than you care to own up to. You’ve given so much and worked so hard.
So why do you feel so lonely? Even when other people are around?
You could live like this. Indefinitely. You've seen it in other, older women in your life who, approaching later years... never figured this out, never knew how to change things and eventually resigned themselves to mediocracy in their relationships. And, with every passing year, it terrifies you that you might become like them.
You have a choice. You can bravely begin to move into something deeper.
If you have a desire to...
Change the neediness you experience around loving and being loved
Learn how to respond authentically rather than react
Accept yourself and others and judge less
Integrate tools to navigate difficult decisions and overwhelming emotions
Cultivate mindfulness and intention in your words and actions
Empower yourself so you aren’t a victim to circumstances and other people’s actions and emotions
Connect to something bigger
know WHY you have what you have, do what you do, feel what you feel and are so STUCK
You are a Brave One.
Loving and being loved isn’t something for wimps. It’s for radical truth tellers. It’s for those who are willing to rouse their inner rebel and show up for real.
Because in love, everything we want to forget about ourselves is revealed.
All the behaviors (our own and the other person's) that annoy us to no end are present.
There is no hiding.
Over and over again in our lives, everything we have fantasized about what love should be is proven wrong.
My belief is this: Love… the kind where we share ourselves for real… is BRAVE LOVE.
It’s probably not something you learned from your parents. It’s not something you’ve been taught how to do. And you aren’t going to get it handed to you by the people in your life.
You, Brave One, are going to have to do it yourself.
But you are not alone.
I have created something to empower you with awareness, equip you with tools and guide you into knowing your real self so you can love fiercely and be loved unconditionally.
This program lays the foundation for intimacy. The real, show up as you as-is, tell the truth, ask for what you need, share the core of who you are kind of intimacy.
Why Brave Love?
love and intimacy begin as an inside job
It might seem like relationship problems are primarily external. It's easy to believe we need to wait for people to change for relationships to work. This puts our capacity to experience love in the hands of others. We need to take it back by coming home... to ourselves. Brave Love shows you how.
the catalyst for real change is healing
Our early experiences shaped us and instilled beliefs about the world, ourselves and love. Every one of us wants to be loved. Growing up, we learned what felt like love, what got us love and what didn’t. Quite often, what we learned was love was not. Until we understand these patterns, we will always be playing out our learned love. Brave love gets to the WHY.
No relationship is an accident
Every relationship you are currently in and every relationship you have had in the past has something to teach you. Each one illuminates parts of you that need love and tending. And each one offers an opportunity to grow, strengthen and heal. Brave Love guides you into this inquiry.
The Brave Love Project: Foundations of Intimacy is an 8-week virtual self-study course. It opens on September 6, 2017 and begins as soon as you register. You can follow the 8-week pace or fit it into your own schedule however it works for you. The material will be yours to keep for always.
The 8 Foundations of Brave Love
Each week, one foundational principle will be explored in depth. You will gain knowledge, skills and tools. Our work together will encompass. observation and witnessing, self-inquiry, acceptance and practice. Each foundation builds on the last to give you a map to your truest self and a path to real love.
1: FINDING CENTER :: COMING HOME
We all revolve our energy, attention, awareness around an “axis”. Learn to find your own center axis within you. Learn when you leave and place your axis on others and why. Practice coming back to your own center again and again.
2: learned love
Take a look at your history and what you learned love is. Look objectively at how you were held. Become aware of how you hold yourself and others in your interactions. Let go of false notions, expectations, idealized childhoods. Grieve the holding you didn’t have.
3: AS Is :: reclaiming worth
Begin to hold yourself with kindness and in healthy self worth. Distinguish inherent worth from behaviors and choices. Notice when you go one-down into shame or one-up into grandiosity and why. Learn to bring yourself back to equal worth.
4: MAKING PEACE
Make peace with your past. Learn and practice self-forgiveness. Explore your shadow and the energy expended to hide parts of yourself. Notice when you are triggered into self-doubt, second guessing and shame as you interact. Invite radical compassion.
5: HONORING YOUR TRUTH :: SECURING YOUR HOME
Make friends with healthy anger. Learn about boundaries . Memorize what anger feels like in your body and use it to determine your values, wants and truth. Recognize when you turn anger inward into shame, avoid protecting yourself and fail to contain… and why. Honor your own truth.
6: GIVING AND RECEIVING
Learn the difference between taking care and care-taking. Open the channel of giving and receiving and keep it balanced. Investigate when you give too much or too little in your interactions and come back into balance.
7: RULING YOUR REALM
Stepping into sovereignty. Asking for what you want and need.
8: BRAVE & TRUE EXPRESSION
Find your voice. Bravely express your truest self without hiding, pretending or game-playing.
How is the course structured?
Each week begins with...
A PRE-RECORDED AUDIO CLASS. Once you listen to the class, you can begin working on the...
QUESTIONS FOR SELF-INQUIRY. The depth of the program is here. In The Brave Love 8-Week Digital Workbook.They are daily. And they are intended to excavate beliefs, habits and patterns and bring them into awareness.
BRAVE WORDS. A weekly mantra to live by.
A DAILY PRACTICE AUDIO. This 10-15 minute guided practice reinforces the foundation topic of the week.
TOOLS AND SKILLS. Because to learn a new way of doing something we need guidelines and examples.
AN INTERACTION LOG. It is through our interactions that we can witness what we actually do, think and feel while in relation to others. The prompts focus on the foundation of the week.
You will have access to an extra BONUS- 3 recorded Inquiry Yoga classes that reinforce the foundation topics. (Gentle poses for the purpose of insight... no yoga experience necessary!)
To love and be loved is the bravest thing. And the thing we most long for. I invite you to take the first courageous step, because if not now... when?
A little about my path to BRAVE LOVE...
I’m a recovering codependent, overly- nice, people pleaser. I have bent over backwards, shape shifted into unrecognizable variations of myself, tolerated waaaayyyy too much and resented all of it. I know how to make peace, avoid conflict, manage a narcissist and tiptoe around anger. I have conformed to stay in good graces, squelched my opinion to dodge scorn and smiled to conceal my anger.
And I have deliberately rebelled.
I started to do scary stuff. The scariest stuff. Like get to know myself and my truth and sometimes even speak it. (Even though I might face rejection.) Like telling people when I didn’t like how things went down. (Risking backlash.) Like asking for what I wanted. (Knowing I might not get it.)
With enough practice, I got even more ninja and didn’t try to fix it when someone was upset with me. I even let it be when I had the experience of being really, really disliked. Radical, right?
And I eventually took the risk and put my 25 year marriage on the line.
More and more I moved out of my comfort zone and into my real life.
I went from hiding and living in fear to living in Brave Love.
I am creating and curating a life that I totally dig and relationships that honor all the humanness of who I am, who they are and our journeys. On the outside it doesn’t look as perfect as I used to try and make it seem. It may appear messier, louder and more complicated. But it is more vibrant in every way. I am alive in it. Not as a pretend me or a quasi-self that is always trying to be different. But as me. And my relationships have strengthened, refreshed and become (mostly) drama-free.
If you would have told me this a decade ago, it would have been overwhelming and mind-blowing. “You’re saying,” I would have said to my older self. “that the more blunt, honest and candid I am, the more willing I am to risk everything and say it like I see it… the more connection and intimacy I would have?” I don’t think I could have imagined that more candor would have meant more closeness; that’s why I was so scared to tell the truth. I didn’t want to rock the boat and alienate people, but it turns out that drama and shallowness and lack of deep connection are not created by boldness, but by hiding.
The more I am me.. as is… the more I bravely love all my people as them… as is.
To create Brave Love, I have analyzed my process that brought me from habitual codependency and pretend intimacy to awareness, empowerment and real connection. I have combined what I have learned from experts in the fields of psychology, self-help and yoga with my own personal experience. I have trained with some of the best and I also know that we are our own best teachers.
I created this program because my life experiences showed me how to do this and it would be hoarding this awesome thing to not share it with you.
I truly believe in this program, in this sacred and worthwhile work. I believe it will help you steer through your own relationships, including (most especially) the one with yourself, so that you can live in Brave Love.
If I can do it, then you too, Brave One, can love fiercely and be loved unconditionally.
You deserve to love and be loved fully and fiercely.
Before I started the Brave Love program, I felt aware and accepting of my co-dependency tendencies, but without direction. Like having a medical diagnosis, but no treatment plan. Now I know exactly why, who and what topics trigger me. I am able to assess when my center of axis is outside myself and bring it back in. I can lovingly ask myself what I am feeling, what I need right now and give myself permission to do it. I can set healthy boundaries without guilt. I feel strong in my sense of inherent worthiness. I don't do things for others without asking myself why anymore. The program was salve for my soul and what I needed to finally let myself be me and nurture myself and stop over-functioning for my family and putting their needs at the expense of mine. It has helped me manage being empathic without going into overwhelm. This course has been a game changer for me. It was like corrective lenses for my soul. I had no idea how crystal clear leaves on a tree looked until I got glasses at 22. This was the same experience. I am so grateful for this work. It matters. A lot.––Connie Haley
What if I am not currently in a relationship?
What if I want to leave a relationship? What if I don't?
Decide I want to go deeper?
How long will the course be accessible?
What if I don't have a lot of time to commit to this?